1984

Recently read George Orwell's '1984' plus a conversation with my dad over people's emotional needs. He said he likes to keep it simple and asks straight forward whatever he needs and would like others to be able to do the same. I said that is not possible. Life would become very plain and insipid if we got everything by asking for it. I felt the other person would cease to exist and would simply become a fulfiller of our needs. Relations would be replaced by simple transactions of give and take. Though they may actually still be that? Though I stood my ground, the question still persists!

Are our old thinking patterns of being natural appropriate for the times, the games people play, the illusion we want to create about our lives and then get immersed in that illusion. It feels natural, like in 1984 - the concept of double speak/INGSOC. I feel there are two kinds of people, those who simply lead life without much intellectual exercise of how and why of things, especially larger human behavior. Now as one understands more and more about oneself and how the human machine functions, one feels one has the power to change the patterns. Change the outcomes, but then one is confronted with the problem of life being natural. Being unconscious of certain aspects of ourselves and our relations.

Wanting to double think, but the moment one becomes aware one is double thinking it's naturalness goes away. The problem is that it seems by doing double think one would be able to not be limited by social conceptual limitations, one would be unstoppable, but then the mystery of life seems to disappear.
Double think becomes a disease. Either you practice it unconsciously or live with power but without mystery. You know inherently that much of life is an illusion. To function you want to be unconscious of it and deny the fact. Then you may recognise that life is an illusion and you are being conscious of it (double think).

If you accept life is an illusion and you a delusion, then how does one become conscious of it. If either the moment you become conscious of it, it ceases to be an illusion.
Whatever this whole thing, it leaves me in quite a lot of confusion.