A Day of Pause
Sure the day of pause must have brought things up,
That had been stuffed away,
I have been grappling with some feelings since last tuesday;
Mud seems to have settled a little only now,
Reflecting on what makes relations painful,
Especially with those floating close by;
Do we start out relating on the wrong premise itself?
That we can know anyone or anything!
Even if we grasp we know, we must quickly shake our heads and say no-no,
That's why we sit before and after sleep,
So we may let go of everything, nothing to keep;
When a child is born, the parents wrongly assume,
Saying it belongs me, for sometime there is curiosity,
Humor and joy with its assumed, seemingly random eccentricity,
Encouragement of what seems like newness and creativity;
Soon joy turns to pride,
As randomness reduces and patterning taking strides,
Then money, energy and life is invested,
Soon body and mind, they get congested;
As one realizes the truth of life, having expended disproportionate energy,
It hits this game cannot go on, consumption seems to have become the norm;
This patterning must stabilize, recovery must start,
Body and mind they they cannot go back,
Negativity spreads within the hearts;
Confronted with reflected patterns, unable to accept,
Joy turns to dejection, love gives way to rejection,
Unable to experience dejection, forcing and controlling start,
With time everything fails, mind-body are too frail;
Soon love looses charm, so one starts a new game,
Forget our past, lets start anew, I want to see you, reveal my insides to too;
Each feels good, that someone is giving attention,
Yet pretty soon, the same drama and tension;
One knows the other, sees one in the other,
Not having seen one-self, one takes refuge in the other,
Unable to deal with self inside, out,
The only way left is to split oneself.
Reflecting on suffering today,
When am I alive and when do I feel like the dead sea?
Seeing myself through another's eyes, fix myself I do, to a spot,
Seeing myself from my own eyes (who I should be), fixed again at a different spot,
Seeing another from my eyes, fixes us both in two spots,
Not seeing the positives that I would like,
I have to plan for the negatives, to the mind that strike,
Seeing another from their own eyes, fixes myself spot on spot,
The game's the same, not matter what,
Gum in suffering, suffering in gum.
How painful it is to be stuck in form!
How painful to be needing to in-form!
How painful to be wanting to be in-formed!
Praying for simple, peaceful times ahead!