Choice and Responsibility
What can I ask for from the universe?
Choice - The act of choosing or selecting
Choose - Select as an alternative over another
Select - Pick out
Pick out - Detect with the senses
Detect - Discover or determine the existence, presence, or fact of
Discover - Become aware of
Determine - Fix conclusively
At the moment I am feeling as if I am standing at the crossroads, though there is no discomfort, just an eagerness
towards the possibility of some discovery. There are a number of perspectives through which I could look at
myself. As a social, cultural, animal ... at the level of biology, chemistry, physics. I could also look at myself
as a product of evolution, as a continuous product of the interaction of the environment and my body, heart and
brain. I could think of myself as a Strange Loop (Douglas Hofstadter). I could look at myself as a
I can experience living inside my body, but not being my body. I can experience existing in my brain, but not being my brain, I can experience myself through interaction with other ??? like me, but I also know that I am not defined by them alone. I can experience myself in the writings and words of others, but I do not believe I exist in words or language. I can feel myself in the happiness, sadness and various emotions around me, but I know I am not that alone. Feeling the futility of words I may keep quiet and still my mind, increasing my awareness of things around me. That level of being does fill one with immense joy and connectedness.
Cutting things short, let's assume even if I have all the knowledge in the world, even if I can see everything
perfectly then what is one to do? Let's assume I believe in life after death and do not think of myself narrowly
only in terms of this lifetime, but also in terms of future possible lifetimes. In that case how am I to choose
the outcomes I want for this lifetime. How am I to choose the level of engagement in this current lifetime? or is
the question incorrect since there is no current lifetime, the concept of time does not exist for continuous
Do I ultimately have to believe in something, do I have to give in to something. Even if I do not have to do that, based on what parameters do I make a choice? Who sets these parameters? If I say me/'I', then I know that this 'I' that I believe myself to be, this 'I' that I think is a separate divided entity is actually integrated with the world, is continuously interacting with the world.
There is no way I can transcend the system I am embedded within. In such a case how can a freedom of choice arise?
Am I to stop asking myself the reasons for my actions, am I stop looking for justifications for my actions. Even if I stop doing them and am not consciously aware of them, that does not mean that subconsciously there is nothing driving me. If I stop thinking about these questions, maybe the intellectual considerations might not exist, but that does not mean that I will not be driven by happiness, joy or simple considerations of pleasure and pain.
No matter how much free will, I do not choose to sit on a bed of nails for the rest of my life. I do not choose it
consciously. There have been individuals, saints, sages who have done so. But again they have been driven by the
search for answers. It may seem they have chosen to give up the ways of the world, but has that choice been of
freewill, the choice of an intended future they wish to accomplish. Did they say we are doing this because we want
to return from our tapasya this and that way?
If not then I would say that there is an inherently invisible life process existing that is the driving force. In such a case 100% free choice would not exist.
How does one choose unreasonably?
How does one choose without justifications? How does one choose without being driven. This concept of I, if a emergent process, then it can never be temporally or temporarily suspended separately of the system it is embedded in.
If the fundamental process of life is the driving force, then to go against the driving force is to choose death. I do not know of anyone who has chosen death. Why would we want to choose death? There have been stories of people spontaneously choosing death and it actually occurring, maybe they were fully attuned to the life force within them.
In that case is that the purpose of the process of the life force itself - to become aware of itself. To keep building on higher and higher levels of awareness. If I rephrase my question to how do I get myself more attuned to this life force, is that better?
Again by saying the above few lines have I not put the justification of some actions on a process. Am I to be caught in this forever?
When I choose, how do I do it responsibly?
What is responsibility? From whose perspective?
Mine??? But when I am unsure of this me/I/itself, can it be kept that as a foundation for anything?
But then again maybe of all things in this life, this illusion/delusion of I may be the most certain I can come to be of anything if nothing else. Again the current I existing inside this body, does not want to take that as the answer!
Why is it in search of an answer?
Even if it does have the answer, will be satisfied, will it cease to be driven insanely by itself, it's pattern. What are the impacts upon the world, the life process of this I'ness?
Whenever I try to think about the life process from the perspective of the I, it does not make sense and the vice
versa too. How can an integration occur between the two? or are the two integrated already and I just can't see
What can I ask for from the universe?