I Too Have a Dream - Of a Trillion Dreams

As children we have dreams. Dreams in which we are always the superhero and things turn out right in the end. As we grow up, innocence is lost, we are jolted from our sleep and asked to awaken and listen to the sound of the kettle boiling. Life is then a series of pot-boilers, one after the other. Parents, friends, school, teachers, exams; vocation, passion, career, college, companion, understanding, love, belonging, alienation, job, boss, skills, exams, money, independence, parents, aging, life, death, marriage, children, parents, friends, community, relations, purpose, life, me, u and I, us, we, they and them, when, then, now and hence, how, who, where, what and why?

By now so many layers have been painted, the unique original masterpeice gets hidden. Some may remember and begin floating versus furiously paddling yet not reaching, others call it going backwards, against the tide, an alternate direction, changing the world, wanting to be different, being a trouble maker, medicine calls it depression, disthymic disorder, bipolar syndrome, ADHD – at the end it doesn't matter, for its only breathing – a simple matter of life and death, which is beyond our understanding and control. It is never part of the dream anyway.

What would it be like to live in our dreams and dream in our lives? Dreams unbounded by u or i, us or them, this or that, he or she, mine and yours. Dreams of a million possibilities, without the burden of choices, with the equanimity to face consequences. Dreams that need no description, explanation or understanding – for they are experienced, experienced through living.

Aging, disease and death are realities no child dreams about. They are irrelevant to the game that is being played. The game of living and dreaming. It is only when they are experienced personally and not integrated as a bodily experience that fear arises. Fear is the final transformation and deposition of helplessness and anger without resolution. Our dreams, stories and hence the realities we create are reflections of the process and cycle of fear - a cycle that feeds upon itself, until collapse. Everything will collapse, it always has and will continue to do so.
It is the law of flow –
What goes there,
Will return here,
Back from where it had gone,
Back from there.

This is not unknown to us, yet we are tempted to ask the questions. Nothing wrong, they are like flowers on the path. We must stop now and then to look at them and smell them.
Yet we must keep walking – for we are like lab rats, walking on the wheel. We walk; the wheel turns, we stop the momentum will cause us to fall. We may undertand, learn and slow down enough that it feels like the wheel will finally stop. Fat chance, we have no idea who the will come from where and push the wheel again. It is not in our hands, just in our legs to walk. Maybe that's what evolution is – walking, to walk away from that which needs walking away from and returning when it needs to return too. I believe that is why the earth goes round, because animals walk the earth and an equal and opposite reaction causes the earth to rotate.
Trees are the balancing force that provide friction in the air and prevent the earth from rotating to fast and throwing everyone into the emptiness of outer space. Ancient people must have seen it, thats why they walked, worshipped nature and did not settle too long in any place. Maybe the ancients were intelligent life from outer space and did not want to go back to the emptiness and preferred encapsulation within her womb. I remember how it felt, the warm and cold, movement and stillness, hunger and satiation, eruptions and settling, pain and pleasure, division and integration – I could feel it with all of me, now they are like a thread of memory, a very faint dream – a dream to dream.