1. Eagle spirit Lets Go a feather. When the feather reaches the earth, the destiny of a star begins to get written
  2. X sees the feather floating across the sky. It has been foretold that whenever a maiden sees the feather floating across the sky, she must go meet the Great Mother and seek blessings. So X travels across the land, visiting the spirit guardians of the land, water, sky, wind and sun, asking where to find the Great Mother
  3. One night, sitting by the campfire, looking at the stars and dreaming, X sees a shooting star with a multicolored tail. The star does not disappear in the sky, instead floats gently, as if dancing in ecstasy across the entire sky, till it seems to cross over the horizon
  4. Curious, she immediately takes her horse and sets off along the path of the star. Reaching the horizon she finds the Ocean. There on the ocean, she sees a multicolored-light emerging from the depths and shooting straight up into the sky
  5. X sits by the ocean and keeps looking at the light. From the depths of the ocean to the infinite womb of the night sky. Up and down she keeps gazing, following the light diligently. Somewhere she falls asleep and starts dreaming
  6. She dreams she hears a Voice. Awoken in the her dream, she looks around and can see no one about her. The voice seems to call out to her. Standing up she, tries paying attention and listening carefully. She reaches the edge of the Ocean. The voice, has a strong ___ to it, yet it seems to be calling out for help. So she wades into the ocean towards the voice
  7. The voice seems to be coming from the light’s direction. Soon the water has reached upto her nose, yet the light and voice seem far away. She knows she must dive and swim in the deep ocean
  8. But her clothes seem to drag in the water and weigh her down. So she gently, Lets them Go and continues to swim towards the Light
  9. She loves the feeling of the warm, gentle night ocean waters against her skin. Following the light she keeps swimming and swimming. Deeper and deeper into the ocean
  10. Finally what seems like forever, she seems to be within distance of the light, when the entire column of light collapses into the ocean and lights it up for a brief instance
  11. Splendid riches of the deep ocean. She is totally spell bound, blinded by the beauty. Her heart is brimming with joy and happiness, when suddenly the light vanishes and the Ocean turns dark
  12. A sudden fear, grasps her body and she is unable to move. She can feel a cold undercurrent, moving below and between her legs, pulling her deeper into the ocean. She knows better that to fight a deep ocean current and Lets Go and turns on her back and starts to float
  13. All X is aware of is her breath going In and Out and the sensations of the currents on her skin. She has no idea of where she is and where she is going. Yet, she Trusts!
  14. Suddenly there is a thud, it seems something has banged hard against her. Instinctively she lets out a Aaaahhhh and opens her eyes. There in place of the shaft of light, is a Gigantic Turtle ____ story with the turtle
  15. She climbs onto the turtles back and the turtle dives into the womb of the Ocean. They are diving deeper and deeper and soon it seems she will run out of air and drown. Yet swimming along with them seem to be all the fishes and creatures of the ocean. Each one of them is releasing a bubble, that seems to come floating towards her. Just in front of her face, they join together into a giant bubble. She pokes her head into that bubble and finds it allows her to breathe for a little bit longer
  16. Like this swimming together, getting help from the other creatures, the turtle and X, reach the bottom of the ocean. They see an underwater cave. As she gets off the turtle and places her feat firmly on the surface, she knows she has reached where No Man has every reached before. She walks towards the cave ___ … inside the cave
  17. There in front of her, shining, glowing a multicolored star fish
  18. For a moment she is just mesmerized by the 6 pointed starfish. It seems to wiggle, dance and has such an inviting, curious fragrance. Gently she bends down and reaches out with her upturned open palm in invitation
  19. For a moment, the starfish seems to become rigid, as if standing her ground and not moving. But X waits gently. Soon the starfish begins to move and slowly climbs onto her palm
  20. Gently moving her palm towards her shoulder, she invites the starfish to climb on
  21. Looking around she suddenly finds the Gigantic turtle and all the other creatures gone. In the dark deep womb of the ocean, she and the starfish, are once again all alone
  22. Knowing she can’t stay here any longer, she begins to swim towards the top, with the light of the starfish guiding and showing the way back to shore
  23. Reaching camp, she gently sneeks back into her clothes and sleeping back and keeps the starfish on her forehead. Tired and exhausted by her adventure in the ocean, she falls back asleep
  24. Suddenly X wakes up from her dream. She is aware of a sensation on her body. She realizes where she is, but she is not sure if she is dreaming or awake. She does not open her eyes, she just continues to feel the movements on her body
  25. She remembers her dream, swimming in the ocean and all. She feels her clothes, but they are dry, but she has been sweating profusely and feeling quite hot and tired. She feels a crawling sensation on her skin. From forehead → bridge of her nose, nose, lips, chin, neck, into her dress, on her chest, between her breasts, on her torso and finally coming and resting on her navel. There it seems to grip her, as if constricting her
  26. She suddenly feels breathless, she begins breathing from her mouth and soon the breathlessness subsides. Tired and exhausted, she falls asleep
  27. Next morning when X gets up, she can find nothing around that reminds her of her last nights dreams reality. No starfish anywhere. But as she is walking about the camp, the other women look at her and smile knowingly to each other
  28. Soon the women have finished their morning engagements and head to the river for a bath. At the shore, as soon as X drop her clothes, all the women stare at her with open eyes and gaping mouths. They point fingers at her in amazement
  29. Looking down she sees 6 pointed star shaped red mark on her naval. Touching it she feels a searing energy run through her, giving her flushes and making her hot. She quickly jumps into the river and swims out to the waterfall
  30. There behind the curtain of water in the small cave, she sits by herself and reflects on her dreams and strange marks. As she begins to comb her dreads with a piece of broken shell lying nearby, she sees her reflection in the still pool of water and is surprised to see blue marks on her forehead. The symbol for being touched by the ‘Waters of Life’ … she now understands why her friends and other women were smiling at her. She is soon to become a mother and an elder
  31. The next 9 months of her life are spent, happily, singing, dancing, weaving, writing, painting, riding horses. Each morning she gets up to such aliveness and joy in her heart. The entire community is surprised at her cheerful spirit
  32. One night as she lay in bed, dreaming, she sees a vision. Mother Gaia seems to come to her from the Ocean and she calls out to her. To come meet her
  33. X again makes the journey to the Ocean. This time the ocean is rough, choppy. Huge waves that threaten to engulf her. She is afraid to step into the waters, but then the voice calls out to her again
  34. She anxiously steps into the ocean and slowly, very carefully, breathing with great difficulty, swims out. There she soon finds that she can swim no further and does not have the strength to swim back yet. So she simply spreads out her limbs and floats on the water. Eyes closed and just focusing on her breathing
  35. Soon she feels a rumbling in which the whole earth seems to shake. From the ocean around her, she can see steam rising. Soon the sea begins to boil, there is a great earthquake and suddenly there is something rising above the surface of the water. A great mound seems to be emerging from the surface of the ocean’s waters
  36. Suddenly there is a great bang, the mound splits and volcanic eruptions begin. Lava, ash, steam spout out of the mound and into the ocean. The water around X, turns hot and red, yet she is somehow calm as if in trance. She is breathing, waiting, watching whatever is happening, allowing it to
  37. As the lava erupts and comes in contact with the air and water it cools down and begins to take shape. Right before her eyes, she sees a human form take shape. Soon there is so much mist, fog, steam, she can no longer see clearly and passes out
  38. What seems like an eternity, she regains consciousness and opens her eyes. There right next to her, floating in the water and suckling off her breast is a beautiful child
  39. The volcano has subsided and the waters are calm again. The skies are clear and everything around has a beautiful sheen to it. Caressing the baby, X swims back towards the shore and to her village
  40. The growing up story remains. There is an experience of loss, tragedy … The child looses her dance. She grows tall, muscular. Her chest starts to grow, her voice changes. As she moves, she is more aware of her body, her self, nature and environment around her
    n: the womb period / dark night of the soul
  41. She feels like sitting quietly, not doing anything. Just sleeping, resting, dreaming. Her skin and hair seems to change. She is feeling so many things inside of her. She does not feel like going out
  42. She likes to sit in the dark in her own small tent and singing to herself. The seldom, walks that she takes around her village, she can hear whispers about her. She seems to have lost her ‘Mojo’ Its only when she sings and hears her own voice, that she feels alive and better
  43. She often feels solid and then fluid. It’s as if there is something inside of her wanting release. She mops around, does not feel like helping around in the village, do her chores or clean up. She does not feel like taking baths, brushing her teeth or combing her hair. Her interest in food seems to have diminished
  44. She sometimes feels sad, sometimes, upset, sometimes angry. She comes to talk to her mom, but mom just smiles, hugs her to her chest and kisses her on her forehead. Mother smiles and weeps at the same time. Y does not understand. She does not feel like she belongs. No one seems to understand her and she understand no one
  45. There is some linkage to receiving guidance from someone to talk to the Great Mother. Y asks how to do that. The guide says touch things, talk to them, smell them, taste them, use all your senses. Walk in nature, listen to the birds, their song, learn their songs. The Great Mother speaks through nature spirits, learn to talk to the spirits
  46. Connection missing … but girl goes on a Hero’s Journey / Quest and comes across the following
    n: as the girl encounters experiences and emotions, she is observing and questioning them. story avoids pedantic approach of ordering the experiences. there are some blank spaces in the story that the reader can fill, journal. maybe some interactions or something to enable journalling as a habit through puberty for self study and as a life long process
  47. Meets
    1. Hens + Chickens
    2. Dogs
    3. Cats
    4. Flowers
    5. Trees
    6. Butterflies
    7. Frogs
    8. Bees
    9. Cows
    10. Crickets / Cicadas
    11. Ants
    12. Spiders
    13. Snakes
    14. Oceans
    15. Rivers
    16. Lizards
    17. Clouds
    18. Rains
    19. Sun
    20. Moon
    21. Stars
    22. Horses
    23. Kangaroos
    24. Koalas
    25. Eagles
    26. Camels
    27. Monkeys
    n: as she travels and has these experiences, she may choose not to do anything, just be in solitude and quietness, pausing. when she has to leave and place, there is a sense of grief at having to be alone again. showing her transitions. she becoming aware of them. she also meets some sly characters, but only through slow interactions, learns to understand. 'bhatak' jaati hai, then realizes what does and does not work for her ... just like the mara appearing for buddha
  48. Everything she sees is happy, dancing, moving, singing. Even when absolutely still she sees things gently swaying, she can feel the emotions and feelings of life around her. When things are absolutely still she feels pain + happiness
    n: she explores her own personal energies independent of gender. she tries everything, masculine/feminine. it leads to deep joy and then she forgets, till when puberty hits her. she realizes she is changed. when she brings energy to the individualization process, not to be generalized as this happens for everyone
  49. She keeps asking how come they are always moving, they continue to do what they do? Everything always answers ‘Danse’ … yet she stays and learns to ‘Dance’ with all of them, yet she returns back to her normal self and yet she feels there is something wanting to come out of her
    n: show a mixed world, not a polar world. queer too. intermingling of flavors. humans as evolutionary force. animal farm revisited
  50. Then one night, while she is asleep, she has a dream!
  51. Y sees a multicolored shooting star, gliding gently as if dancing in the sky. She sees her mother, she sees her mother’s dream, she sees the mark on her navel. Instinctively she touches her own
  52. She begins to feel a rumbling, the earthquake, volcano. She sees red lava spouting out of the volcano, she hears the voice of the starfish, telling her it wants to come out
  53. She awake frightened and rushes to her mother to tell her the dream. Mother smiles. She says the Great Mother is soon going to visit you and bless you, do not be afraid. whatever appears as a curse is a boon in disguise
  54. Menstruation, bleeding, what’s happening to me. Am I dying. Mother says ‘No’ you are just being reborn
  55. How?
    n: there is a dance to do, a dance only you can do
    ‘Dan Se’
  56. ‘Dana Se’ It is a boon. A Boon from the Moon. It is the Generosity of the Great Mother, that she has given you the power to sustain life. It is a gift to understand, cherish, nourish and pass on.
  57. Continue to Dance like the Great Mother
  58. Dance Forever!!
    n: we have given voacublary to things, what is happening to the body is at the sensation level? what is the sensation that is making it painful. describe the sensation whithout meaning making! in her travel she meets practices and tools and various kinds of teachers. how the body responds to things. fear <-> vibration, anger <-> heat. usage of body to discharge. we do not allow body to discharge, coping mechanisms. can we allow the discharge (dance) she will encounter emotions in her own way. meditation on these sensations